RAGE AND FURY

I've got a list of things that make me RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE:

Things That Make Me Rage
1. Web forms without a submit button
2. The use of two periods ("..") instead of ellipses ("...").
3. People who come up with unfunny jokes for every situation
4. Improperly set MIME types
5. Ending sentences with commas in real speech: "There's this place downtown, they have sandwiches, "
6. Capitalizing Every Word Of Normal Sentences
7. Videos that play as soon as you load the page.
8. Big O notation: 100nlog(n) and nlog(n) are different, retards

I keep it in a text file on my desktop called rage.txt. Rage.txt was created only two weeks ago, after I stumbled upon a site which had a form with no submit button; you had to press enter to submit the form.
Furiously, I grabbed my laptop and leaped out of the window of my bedroom into the open window of my Escalade. I floored the accelerator, headed for the nearest marina. There, I commandeered a speedboat and sped off toward a nearby Naval fleet. I climbed halfway up the side of an aircraft carrier and punched a hole through the wall, hurled the laptop inside, then dove in after it. From my position in the lower decks, I was able to access the ship's wifi network, and connected to an onboard PBX which allowed outgoing calls via radio. This website had to die, and it had to die now. I looked up a geolocation of the site's IP address, patched my laptop's microphone into the ship's phone system, and ordered the site nuked from orbit. It was the only way to be sure.

Sorry, I get carried away. Far, far, away. To a magical land, where sentences travel for miles, never encountering the unmerciful chasm of a question mark, only occasional rolling over gently swaying commas, unhindered by the forceful nature of the exclamation point, occasionally making their way over semicolons and/or conjunctions; alas, all good things must come to an end, and for these sentences, that end is the period at the edge of their domain.

I'm hanging up now.