I've written some poems about dinosaurs:
Raptors
Claws, tail, toes, and teeth
Runs in groups of five
Oh what horror we’ve unleashed!
We’re all gonna die
Brontosaur
There’s a dino on the floor
it seems he’s lost his head.
We’ve got one from Camarasaur,
put that one on instead.
Tyrannosaur
This guy is just twelve feet tall
can’t really catch a Jeep
Still the scariest of all
Fences down! beep beep beep beep
Pteranodon I
Oh my God it can fly
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
run away run away fuck
Pteranodon II
Oh my God these ones can fly
Now we’ll need a huge bird cage
Lest we all abruptly die
by the soaring wing of rage
Archaeopteryx
Oldest bird we’ve ever found
Not the least bit scary
It evolved to leave the ground
Whilst we chose to be hairy
Friday, September 12, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
On YouTube, Dinosaurs, Masturbation, people other than Iron Man, and Dreams
"Sheeple".
This portmanteau is a favorite of YouTube commenters[1] and lazy revolutionaries (i.e. assholes). If you're an idiot and can't figure out what they're trying to say, the metaphor is that Americans (or whatever group the commenters are mildly against) follow the herd without thinking, like sheep. Because in the world of YouTube comments, sheep are the only animals that move in herds. Nevermind every fucking other animal.
Wolves, yaks, dogs, fish, dolphins, deer, gorillas, corn, penguins, seagulls, angels, demons, horses, cows, gazelles, buffalo, giraffes, elephants, zebras, lions, antelope, moose, sauropods, and raptors[2] all move in herds, too. Yeah, that's right. I seen Jurassic Park. Raptors move in herds, people. Watch out.
Do you know why raptors move in herds? Because if they didn't, they'd get eaten and they wouldn't be able take down larger prey. Also, they'd have nobody to mate with, all alone in the jungle, and they can't reach all the way down there with those little arms[3].
Humans follow the herd for similar reasons - both physically and mentally. On the physical side, one human can't win a war by himself[4], and he can't produce offspring alone. On the mental side, most people will never have an original idea about anything important in their lives - the ones that do, those are the alpha males (or females), at least intellectually. Feynman was an intellectual alpha male. So was Caesar, and so was Shakespeare, and so was Jane Austen (Pride & Prejudice, retards). The unoriginal people get along by standing near giants such as these.
Also, YouTube people: everybody posts comments on YouTube. Stop just following the fucking herd & live ur own lives YOUTUVE COMENTRES R FUCKEN SHEEP
Come up with a better metaphor, YouTube people.
1. There's the YouTube.
2. And the dinosaurs.
3. Masturbating dinosaurs.
4. Except Iron Man.
5. Fuck, hang on
P.S. I had a dream I was a medieval knight but I had a utahraptor instead of a horse. I would kill the enemy, and Drake would eat them. We had a wonderful time until Samuel L. Jackson came along, somehow riding an entire herd of Tyrannosaurs all at once.[5]
5. There.
P.P.S. Somebody, please, come up with a Greasemonkey script or a Firefox extension that removes the words "sheeple" and "sheep" from YouTube comments, and replaces them with "raptor-people" and "raptor", respectively.
This portmanteau is a favorite of YouTube commenters[1] and lazy revolutionaries (i.e. assholes). If you're an idiot and can't figure out what they're trying to say, the metaphor is that Americans (or whatever group the commenters are mildly against) follow the herd without thinking, like sheep. Because in the world of YouTube comments, sheep are the only animals that move in herds. Nevermind every fucking other animal.
Wolves, yaks, dogs, fish, dolphins, deer, gorillas, corn, penguins, seagulls, angels, demons, horses, cows, gazelles, buffalo, giraffes, elephants, zebras, lions, antelope, moose, sauropods, and raptors[2] all move in herds, too. Yeah, that's right. I seen Jurassic Park. Raptors move in herds, people. Watch out.
Do you know why raptors move in herds? Because if they didn't, they'd get eaten and they wouldn't be able take down larger prey. Also, they'd have nobody to mate with, all alone in the jungle, and they can't reach all the way down there with those little arms[3].
Humans follow the herd for similar reasons - both physically and mentally. On the physical side, one human can't win a war by himself[4], and he can't produce offspring alone. On the mental side, most people will never have an original idea about anything important in their lives - the ones that do, those are the alpha males (or females), at least intellectually. Feynman was an intellectual alpha male. So was Caesar, and so was Shakespeare, and so was Jane Austen (Pride & Prejudice, retards). The unoriginal people get along by standing near giants such as these.
Also, YouTube people: everybody posts comments on YouTube. Stop just following the fucking herd & live ur own lives YOUTUVE COMENTRES R FUCKEN SHEEP
Come up with a better metaphor, YouTube people.
1. There's the YouTube.
2. And the dinosaurs.
3. Masturbating dinosaurs.
4. Except Iron Man.
5. Fuck, hang on
P.S. I had a dream I was a medieval knight but I had a utahraptor instead of a horse. I would kill the enemy, and Drake would eat them. We had a wonderful time until Samuel L. Jackson came along, somehow riding an entire herd of Tyrannosaurs all at once.[5]
5. There.
P.P.S. Somebody, please, come up with a Greasemonkey script or a Firefox extension that removes the words "sheeple" and "sheep" from YouTube comments, and replaces them with "raptor-people" and "raptor", respectively.
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